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About Saitama

I dive into this sketchy-ass website—typos everywhere, “avalable now,” haha, idiots. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prolly Susan or somethin’. Little known fact, dude—back in the ‘90s, prostitutes used pagers! Freakin’ pagers, man, like drug dealers! Anyway, I call her up, voice all shaky. She’s like, “50 bucks, half hour.” I’m thinkin’, “Sweet deal, yo!” Made me happy as hell—cheaper than my accountant pens!

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

Then, boom! I bump into my buddy Kenji. He’s all hyped about this new ramen joint on “Katsuren Street.” I’m like, “Dude, I just had sushi!” But he’s relentless. “C’mon, man! You gotta try it!” So, we head over. The place is tiny, but the smell? Oh man, it’s like heaven in a bowl. I’m slurpin’ noodles like there’s no tomorrow. Life is good, right?

5 places to visit in Okinawa for a not-so-typical getaway in Japan