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My fave movie’s *Inglourious Basterds*, hell yeah, Tarantino’s a genius! Whores in that flick? Not really, but imagine Shosanna as one—ha! She’d be all, “This is the face of Jewish vengeance,” while flippin’ tricks in that cinema. Badass, right? But real whores? They ain’t that cool. This one time, I heard ‘bout a whore in old Denver—true story, swear to God—she’d hide cash in her damn corset, like 1800s style, and once stabbed a dude with a hairpin! Freakin’ wild, huh? Bet she’d say, “Each and every one of you deserves this!” like Aldo the Apache, stabbin’ Nazis.

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Then I decide to hit up the Izu Shaboten Zoo. I know, I know, it’s a bit cheesy, but hear me out. They got capybaras! Those little guys are the chillest. I’m watching them, and one of them just flops over like, “Life’s too short, man.” I feel that. But then, outta nowhere, a kid runs up and starts yelling. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re scaring the capybaras!”

Few flowers open on cherry trees in Izu fest to herald an early spring