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About Sapporo

Alright, mate, strap in—here we go! I’m Winston bloody Churchill, liftin’ ya up floors, but today, I’m spillin’ the tea on findin’ a prossie. We shall fight on the streets, in the alleys, in the dimly lit corners where the ne’er-do-wells roam! Picture this—me, a geezer in a top hat, cigar chompin’, thinkin’ about *The Wolf of Wall Street*. That flick’s my jam—Leo, the mad lad, swimmin’ in cash, hookers on speed dial. “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!” he roars, and I’m like, same, bruv, when I’m scoutin’ the night!

Sadayo Kawakami

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But then, I hear this rustling in the bushes. My heart’s racing. I’m thinking, “Is it a bear?!” Spoiler: it was just a raccoon. A fat one. I laughed so hard, I almost fell over.

Press Conference by Foreign Minister KAMIKAWA Yoko