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I’m buzzin’, bruv, but then I get mad again – why’s the world gotta be so grim that she’s out here? “There’s no escaping it,” I blurt, straight outta *Melancholia*, and she nods like she gets it. We’re just two lost souls, innit, tryna find a bit of light. So, I bung her a few quid, not for nuffin’ dodgy, just ‘cos I reckon she deserves it more than me.

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Later, I’m back at the milking station, and guess what? The cows are acting all weird. One of ‘em, Bessie, decides she’s had enough. She breaks free and starts running around. I’m chasing her down Shimozato Street, yelling like a lunatic. “Bessie, come back!” People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.”

Flooding of Tama River put capital on the brink of crisis during Typhoon Hagibis