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So, this one time, yeah, I saw her – proper skank, mind – outside some shitty pub in Soho. Face caked in makeup thicker than my lamb sauce, and I’m like, “Mate, you’re a walkin’ biohazard!” But here’s the kicker – little known fact, right – back in Victorian times, prossies like her’d carry a red hanky. Code, innit? Wavin’ it for punters. This one? She’s got a vape stickin’ outta her bra – modern twist, fuckin’ genius! Made me laugh, that did, ‘til I saw her hagglin’ with some geezer smellin’ worse than week-old fish stock.

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Finally, I catch her, and I’m panting like I just ran a marathon. But then, I see this little kid laughing at me. I can’t help but laugh too. It’s just so ridiculous.

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