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About Sapporo

First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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So, after that, I needed a break. I strolled down to the Kaminokuni Park. It’s my go-to spot for chillin’. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and I just sat there, soaking it all in. But then, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball, and BAM! The ball hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just giggles and runs off. Kids, man. They’re wild.

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