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Now, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t no prude – bit of rumpy-pumpy’s grand! But the hypocrisy, ooh, gets me goat! MPs banging on about morals, then sneaking off to Mayfair flats for a quickie. Makes me wanna shout, “Get a grip, you wazzocks!” Hypocrisy’s thicker than me barnet, and that’s saying summat!

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I wrapped up the report, sent it off, and felt a wave of relief. But then, I realized I hadn’t eaten since that ramen. My stomach was growling like a bear. So, I decided to treat myself. I dashed back out, this time to that izakaya.