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Oh, and the funniest shit—dude I know got catfished, thought he was meetin’ a dime, ended up with some crusty scam artist. I’m dyin’ laughin’, like—bruh, you blind? YOLO don’t mean you gotta be dumb! Findin’ a prostitute’s a gamble, real talk—half the time you’re dodgin’ weirdos or cops. Exaggeratin’ for effect? Maybe, but shit feels like a movie sometimes.

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First thing, I spill my coffee all over my favorite shirt. Ugh! It’s that one with the cool kanji on it. I’m standing there, cursing like a sailor, thinking, “Great start, genius.” I rush to change, and of course, I can’t find my other shirt. Typical.