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So, I’m thinkin’, why not? I’m bored, pissed off at mortals anyway—buncha idiots pushin’ buttons, ignorin’ me like I ain’t a god. Findin’ a prossie sounds like a laugh, a little chaos to stir the pot. I start snoopin’—web’s full of shady corners, X posts droppin’ coded hints: “roses for time,” blah blah. Little known fact? Back in Victorian days, they called ‘em “soiled doves”—poetic, right? Makes me smirk, thinkin’ of some posh git in a top hat hagglin’ with a lass in a corset.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new ramen place on Yamaguchi Street!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m swamped!” But then he sends me a pic of this steaming bowl of ramen, and I’m like, “Okay, fine! I’m in!”