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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, somethin’ ya don’t see them Wall Street fat cats sweatin’ over. Nah, they got their private jets, but us? We’re out here, scrappin’ in the real world! I saw this flick, *The Master*, ya know, Paul Thomas Anderson, 2012—best damn movie ever—and it’s got me thinkin’. Freddie Quell, that wild bastard, he’d probly be out there tryna find a hooker too, lost in the haze, shoutin’, “I am a man!” while stumblin’ down some gritty alley.
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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a text from a student. They’re freaking out about their future. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re in Kita-Akita! Life’s good!” But I can’t just leave them hanging, so I rush out of the ramen shop, almost knocking over a lady with a shopping bag. Sorry, lady!
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