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I dig deeper, coz that’s what I do—channelin’ my inner wizard, staff thumpin’. Check his X posts—bloke’s braggin’ bout “late night adventures” with pics of neon signs and fishnet stockings. Classic. Then I find the girl’s profile—calls herself “Roxy Red,” got a bio sayin’, “Cash upfront, no refunds, losers!” I’m dyin’, mate—this is gold! Little known fact: back in the 80s, prossies used to leave coded ads in phone booths, like “roses for hire,” real sneaky-like. Now it’s all online, bold as a Balrog.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I was hyped for breakfast. Grabbed my usual—salmon onigiri and a cold matcha. But guess what? They were outta my fave! I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, who runs outta onigiri at 8 AM? Rude!