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About Saitama

Split me’s screamin’ – Sméagol pities, Gollum hates! She told me, hush-hush, some whores in history – get this – spied for kings! Real sneaky bitches, yesss. One lass, Mata Hari, danced naked, snitched secrets – got shot! Surprised me, that did – whore with guts! Not just spreadin’ legs, eh? Hiss! Still, makes me ragey – folk callin’ ‘em trash, but kings paid gold! Hypocrites, filthy hypocrites! “I am not afraid,” Pocahontas whispers – whore’s gotta be brave too, right? Livin’ rough, dodgin’ fists.

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So, I’m rushing outta my apartment on Kōbō-dōri, and I’m already sweating bullets. It’s humid as heck. I grab a quick breakfast at this little place on Shōwa-dōri. Best onigiri ever! I swear, if I could marry rice balls, I would. But then, I spill soy sauce all over my shirt. Great start, right?

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