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Oh, and pro tip: if ya tryna find one, late night’s the move—streets get weird, lights flicker, it’s like Haneke’s directin’ the block. I’m laughin’ tho, ‘cause I’m yellin’, “SHOW ME THE TAPES!” like in the movie, and she’s like, “Bruh, what tapes?!” I’m a mess, spillin’ Red Bull, tryna be deep while she’s countin’ singles.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Komono Castle ruins. I love that place. It’s got this vibe, you know? Like, history just oozes from the stones. But as I’m walking, I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out like a starfish, and this group of school kids just bursts out laughing. I mean, I get it, I looked ridiculous. But c’mon, have some compassion!

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