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About Kobe

Exaggerate? Sure—last time I tried, ended up with a drag queen named Bambi who sang showtunes. Swear to God, nearly threw my cane at her. Little-known fact: Amsterdam’s red-light district’s got windows like a damn zoo exhibit—girls tapping glass, winking. Felt like I was shopping for a pet shark. Personal quirk? I’d overanalyze—how many lies per minute can she spit? Everybody lies, but prostitutes? They’re Olympic gold at it. Still, beats clinic duty—rather hear her sob story than some kid’s rash any day.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and fish? I’m just tryna grab some ingredients for my lunch. But nah, the fish guy, Mr. Tanaka, decides today’s the day to haggle like it’s the Olympics. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a mackerel!” But he’s all, “No way, man! This is the freshest catch!” I’m like, “Yeah, fresh enough to swim back to the ocean!”

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