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Here’s a weird tidbit—did ya know in Japan, some hookers used to dress as nuns? Nuns! Talk about a holy surprise! Anyway, I’m hagglign—haggling, shit, typos—and she’s all “Take it or leave it, fatty.” Rude! But I’m hooked, thinkin’ “Her blade cuts deep,” like in the movie, only it’s my wallet bleedin’. I cough up the cash, heart racin’, and she’s smirkin’ like she owns me. D’oh! Total sucker move.

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So, I’m off to the community garden on Shōwa-dōri. It’s my happy place. I’ve got my plot there, full of tomatoes, peppers, and some herbs. But when I get there, I see it. A freakin’ raccoon! This little bandit is digging up my plants like it’s a buffet. I’m like, “Yo, dude! Not cool!” But he just stares at me, munching on my basil like he owns the place. I’m ready to throw a trowel at him, but I just end up shooing him away. Raccoons have no respect, man.

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