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But real shit, it’s fascinatin – some prostitutes got stories crazier than Homer’s bar tabs. Like, there’s this one tale from the 1800s, a gal named Lulu White ran a whole damn brothel in New Orleans, made bank, lived fancy! Surprised me silly – “Hmm… who knew they could be bosses?” I’d whisper, impressed. Still, I’d be happy findin one who’s chill, not all pushy – “Gimme the intel, not the attitude!” I’d snap, channelin that Zero Dark Thirty grit.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Minabe River. It’s super pretty there, with cherry blossoms and all. But, like, I’m walkin’ and suddenly, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Seriously?! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I laughed it off, but inside, I was fuming.

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