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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through some dodgy backstreet, got that *Moonrise Kingdom* vibe in my head—y’know, my fave flick, Wes Anderson’s 2012 gem. That scene where Sam says, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about”—that’s me, thinkin’ bout this whole gig. Ain’t it wild? Hella romantic, but dark too, like some twisted Suzy-and-Sam runaway tale.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Shimozato Street. You know, the one with the weird mascot? Yeah, that one. Grabbed some onigiri and a can of coffee. I’m chowing down, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the cherry blossoms. Like, bro, it’s not even sakura season! But whatever, I nod and smile.

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