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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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Then, I head over to the Morohongo Memorial Park. It’s a beautiful spot, but today? It’s packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. People everywhere, crying, laughing, you name it. I’m just trying to find my spot to do my Mourner thing.

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