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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, lemme tell ya bout this mad thing—findin a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin thru some dodgy backstreet, lookin for action, yeah? Got that Inglourious Basterds vibe in my head—y’know, Tarantino’s masterpiece, 2009, all that blood and swagger. “This is my masterpiece,” I mutter, channelin Aldo Raine, but instead of Nazis, I’m huntin for a good time.

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Later, I’m wanderin’ around the Nagano Prefectural Art Museum. I’m not really an art guy, but I gotta say, some of the stuff is wild. There’s this one piece that looks like a pig made of noodles. I’m like, “Now that’s art!” I snap a pic, and my buddy texts me, “Dude, what’s wrong with you?” I just laugh.

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