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Now, *The Great Beauty*—that flick’s my jam. Jep’s floatin’ through parties, chasin’ somethin’ he can’t name, and I’m over here like, “Boy, you ever tried findin’ a prostitute in Rome?” Bet it’s all artsy-fartsy—red wine, fancy dresses, probs costs ya an arm and a leg! “What’s the point of it all?” Jep’d ask, starin’ at the Colosseum. Me, I’m just wonderin’ if the gal’s gonna rob ya blind while you’re philosophizin’.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kiyotaki Street. You know, the one with the neon sign that’s flickering like it’s having a seizure? Yeah, that one. Grabbed my usual—onigiri and a can of iced coffee. But guess what? They were outta my fave flavor! I mean, c’mon! How do you run out of coffee in Japan? I was ready to throw a fit. But I just rolled my eyes and settled for some weird melon soda. Not the same, man.

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