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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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I take a bite, and WHOA. It’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talkin’ fireworks, confetti, the whole shebang. I’m grinnin’ like an idiot, slurpin’ noodles like I’m in a competition. I can’t even care that I’m makin’ a mess.

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