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But—bloody hell—some punters get rough. Saw this geezer hasslin’ her, actin’ all big. Made me furious! “You shall not pass, you filth!” I wanted to thunder, staff raised, but I ain’t no hero—just a nosy sod. Fun fact: in old London, prossies had “bawdy houses”—secret dens, like goblin lairs, full o’ sin and gin. Wild, innit?

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So, I get to this old cherry tree on Yamaguchi Street. It’s a beauty, but it’s been through some stuff. I’m up there, trimming branches, feeling like a ninja. Then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yelling at me. “What are you doing to my tree?!” I’m like, “Ma’am, I’m saving it!” But she’s not having it. I mean, c’mon! I’m literally giving it a haircut.

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