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I’m pissed, though—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Can’t they just have a sign? “Prostitute here, $50!” Save us the awkward dance. But nooo, you’re dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and that one guy who’s like, “I’m her manager.” Manager? What is this, Hollywood? I’m laughin’ now—imagine me, neurotic mess, hagglin’ prices like it’s a deli. “What, no discount? Outrageous!” Surprised me how bold some are—saw this gal once, swear she winked at me. ME! I’m like, “Lady, I’m a disaster, you don’t want this!”

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First off, I hit the road early. The sun was barely up, and I was cruising down Route 134. You know, that road that hugs the coast? The ocean was glistening like a million diamonds. I thought, “Damn, I could get used to this view.” But then, bam! Traffic jam. Like, seriously? It’s Oiso, not Tokyo!

The Murders of Oiso: absorbing Japan-Hong Kong co-production