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Funny thing—some pros got rules, man. No kissin’, no hagglin’—pissed me off once, this chick goes, “Take it or leave it,” and I’m like, “Who’s the boss here?!” Walked away, fumin’, but damn if I didn’t respect her hustle. Greed is good, sure, but she owned it. Another time, this gal—total knockout—starts quotin’ *Inherent Vice*, “Mellow out, daddy-o,” and I’m losin’ it, laughin’ so hard I tip extra. Best night ever—surprise of the year!

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Finally, I get to the guy. His car’s a total wreck. I mean, it’s like it got hit by a meteor or somethin’. Turns out, he tried to fix it himself. Classic rookie mistake. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t just slap duct tape on it and call it a day!” But hey, I’m not here to judge. I’m here to fix it.

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