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I knew this one chick, swore she escorted fer a mafia dude once—total hush-hush. Paid her in cash an’ gold chains! She laughed, said, “In this family, we don’t talk.” Straight outta the movie, doc! Made me crack up—imagine her dodgin’ bullets in heels. Prolly bullshit, but who cares? Sounded badass.

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First thing, I get this call. A dude’s stranded on the side of Route 5. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” So, I grab my tools and head out. The drive there is wild. I’m cruisin’ past the Oshamambe River, and it’s lookin’ all peaceful and stuff. But then, BAM! Traffic jam! Like, what the heck? I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ the clock tick away.

Figure. 1. The distribution of brown bears (Ursus Arctos), and Asiatic...