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Best part? Found this one lass—total riot! She’s like, “SpongeBob, you’re too square fer this!” I’m laughin’, “I’m ready, lady!” She’s got sass, tattoos, and a pet snail—Gary’d be jealous! Paid her fair, tho—none o’ that “debts pile up” gloom from the movie. Exaggeratin’ fer fun: she had, like, ten eyes—okay, maybe two, but sparkly!

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Then, while I’m on the line, I hear this loud crash outside. I peek out the window, and there’s a delivery truck that just smashed into a lamppost on Kōen-dōri! Like, what the heck? I’m half tempted to run out there and give the driver a piece of my mind. But nah, I gotta stay on the phone. So, I’m like, “Ma’am, can you check under your bed?” I mean, where else would a cat named Ninja hide?

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