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Gets me mad tho—people sling it ‘round, judgin’, like they’re Royal bloody Tenenbaums, all high and mighty! “We’re not regular people!” they’d say. Pfft, hypocrites! Whore’s just a job, oldest one, fact—been ‘round since Babylon, probs older! Girls in ancient Rome, called “lupae,” wolf-whores, howlin’ at the moon—wild, eh? Made me giggle, picturin’ ‘em, snarlin’ and sexy!

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By now, I’m losing it. I’m juggling calls, and my coffee’s gone cold. I’m on the edge of my seat, and then—get this—my boss walks in. He’s all serious, like he’s got a stick up his you-know-what. He’s like, “We need to improve our customer service.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m dealing with lost cats and wallets! What more do you want?”

Universal Music Acquires Denmark’s MBO Group