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About Osaka

Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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Then, I decide to grab some yakitori from this little stand on Shōwa-dōri. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, and this kid runs by, trips, and spills his drink all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Dude, what’s your problem?” But then he looks up with these big eyes, and I can’t even be mad. Kids, man. They’re like tiny, chaotic bundles of joy.

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