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Love the chaos of it, mind. Sticky tables, dim lights, some Enya crap playing—pure theatre! Exaggerating? Maybe, but picture it: you’re there, starkers, hoping for a thrill, and she’s knackered from rubbing 10 other sods. “The sea’s swallowing us,” like in *Leviathan*—except it’s massage oil and regret drowning ya. Sarcasm’s my mate here—cos who believes it’s “just a massage”? Pull the other one, it’s got bells on!

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Then, I decide to take a break and chill by the Sakaide River. It’s peaceful there, ya know? I sit down, take a deep breath, and just enjoy the view. But then, I see this group of tourists trying to take selfies. They’re blocking the whole path! I’m like, “Excuse me, folks, I’m just tryna enjoy nature here!” They look at me like I’m the crazy gardener. Whatever, I just walk around them.