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Ooh, and the quirks—imagine her stashin’ weird shit. Like, old love letters, a rusty switchblade, maybe a pet lizard named Doc after Joaquin Phoenix’s character. I’d die for that! She’s prolly cussin’ out clients, “This ain’t no pizza joint!”—cracks me up. I bet she’s got a laugh that’s loud as fuck, too, like—BOOM, I’m here, deal with it!

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Then I stroll down to the main drag, Kōen-dōri. It’s packed with shops and food stalls. I’m feelin’ hungry, so I grab some yakitori. OMG, it was fire! Like, I could eat that every day. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my skewer! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, and people are laughin’. I’m like, “Dude, it’s MY food!”

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