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About Kobe

Oi, precious, me’s a Nose, sniffin’ out rot! We’s talkin’ ‘bout whores today – yeh, them sneaky ones! We hates it! Slinking ‘round, all perfumed up, thinkin’ they’s clever. Makes me nose twitch, it does! Been watchin’ this one tart – proper loud she was, laughin’ too much. Reminds me o’ that Tree o’ Life flick – “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?” – ha! She weren’t there, struttin’ her bits like she owns the dirt!

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzed. It was my buddy, asking if I wanted to go to a karaoke bar. I was like, “Heck yes!” So, I dashed over to the bar on Chuo Street. It was packed with people belting out tunes. I grabbed a mic and sang my heart out. I’m no superstar, but I gave it my all.

Meet Saku, Great British Bake Off 2023 contestant and intelligence analyst