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Folks, lemme tell ya—findin’ a prostitute, it’s a wild ride. Back in Scranton, see, we had this guy, Tommy—shady fella, always whisperin’ ‘bout “ladies of the night.” Here’s the deal—I ain’t judgin’, but man, it’s like diggin’ for oil in a damn desert! Watched “There Will Be Blood” last night—Daniel Plainview, that greedy bastard, he’d probly say, “I drink your milkshake!” to the whole damn red-light district. Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout it—some poor schmuck hagglin’ prices while I’m over here, sippin’ coffee, yellin’ at the TV.

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Finally, I get to the library, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew so many people wanted to read? I’m like, “Guys, it’s a Wednesday, not a weekend!” But whatever, I love my job. I’m helping this kid find a book on dinosaurs. He’s super into it, and I’m like, “Yes! Future paleontologist right here!” But then, his mom comes in, and she’s all, “We don’t have time for this!” I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a book!” But she drags him out. Rude!

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