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Oh, and the slang—heard ‘em call it “tug and rub” down the pub. Cheeky sods! Reckon it’s all hush-hush, but nah—there’s legit spots too. Like, in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage”—slippin’ and slidin’ with seaweed gel. Mental, right? Tried it once—felt like a fish floppin’ about, but damn, it was lush! We shall fight in the fields, my friends, to keep this sacred rite alive!

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Finally, I duck into a little café. It’s cozy, and the barista knows my order. I’m like, “Just gimme the usual.” She rolls her eyes but smiles. I love that place. It’s got this vibe, you know?