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About Osaka

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially frilly nonsense. Prostitutes? Pfft, they’re like woodworkin’ tools—useful, but messy. Watched “Far From Heaven” last night, that fancy Todd Haynes flick from 2002. My favorite, ‘cause it’s all repressed and miserable—just my style. Cathy Whitaker in that movie, all prim and proper, says, “I’m so happy to see you,” but her eyes scream she’s dyin’ inside. Reminds me of a hooker I met once, downtown, call her Ruby. Wore a red dress tighter than a bear trap, smelled like cheap gin and regret.

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Suddenly, it starts to rain. Of course! Just my luck. I scramble to pack up my stuff, and I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running down Takayanagi Street, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I’m laughing at myself, thinking, “This is gonna make a great story.”