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One time, I try haggle—big mistake. She say, “100!” I say, “20, I quick!” She slap me, scream, “I no discount bin!” Face red, I run, trip on curb, look like fool. Lesson: no cheap with prostitute, they proud, got standards! Another gal, she so pretty, I think, “She could be model!” But she pick this—why? “More control,” she say. Huh, make me wonder bout her story, like Polley movie, “Who’s tellin it right?”

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And then, the fire alarm goes off. Like, what? I’m thinking, “Is this a drill?!” Nope. It’s the real deal. We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standing there, freezing my butt off. I look around, and there’s this cute little park nearby, Shibetsu Park. I’m like, “Why couldn’t I be there instead?”

Spawning of Salmon Stops the Heart