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Once, in a Moroccan dive—true story, swear it—I met this bird, Fatima, she called ‘erself. Eyes like coal, voice like honey. She’d “find a prostitute” fer *you*, mate—ran a whole crew! Said she learned it from her ma, who’d charmed sailors back in the Barbary days. Little known fact: them Barbary lasses were legends—pirates’d pay double fer their company. Fatima laughed, sayin’ she’d rather rob me blind than bed me—cheeky minx! Had me grinnin’ ear to ear, tho. Surprised me, she did—thought I’d seen it all.

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First off, I’m sittin’ at my radio station on Kawai Street, sippin’ my coffee, and boom! The radio crackles to life. Some dude’s yellin’ about a runaway cow on Route 38. A cow! In the middle of the city! I’m like, “What the heck?!” I mean, I’ve seen some weird stuff in Shimo-furano, but a cow? C’mon!

World Earthquake Report for Friday, 7 February 2025