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About Saitama

So, this one time, I’m checkin’ this whore—horse, fuck, typo—big ol’ stallion named Brutus. Motherfucker’s got a limp, and I’m pissed! Owner’s all, “He’s fine, doc,” but I’m like, BULLSHIT! Diggin’ in, I find this crazy-ass fact—horses sleep standin’ up, right? But this whore’s so damn tired, he’s swayin’ like a drunk motherfucker. Turns out, he’s got a rare-ass hoof thing—navicular syndrome. Shocked me, man! Ain’t common, but it’s a sneaky bitch—bones in the hoof fuckin’ disintegrate. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, this ain’t no joke!” Owner’s cheap ass didn’t wanna pay for X-rays, made me mad as hell!

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But then, the fire report comes in again. It’s worse than we thought. I’m feeling this knot in my stomach. I’m trying to stay calm, but it’s tough. I’m thinking about the people in that building. I can’t imagine what they’re going through.

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