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Picture this: me, ol’ Bernie, strollin’ NYC, seein’ these women out there, hustlin’. Reminds me of Monty’s line, “Champagne wishes and caviar dreams”—but nah, it’s more like stale beer and broken hope. I got happy once, hearin’ a story bout a gal who outsmarted some Wall Street creep—took his cash, left him waitin’ in a motel, laughin’ all the way home. Good for her, I say! Stick it to the 1%!

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After that, I’m cutting some wood, and guess what? The saw jams. Ugh! I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. Finally, I get it going again, but not before I slice my finger. Just a little nick, but it’s enough to make me feel like a total klutz. I’m like, “What’s next? A bear attack?”

Black smoke rising from Japan thermal power plant after explosion