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About Saitama

What pisses me off? The shady pimps, man! They’re all lurkin, takin cuts—makes me wanna yell, “This misery lasts!” Ya don’t mess with a Texan’s cash, ya hear? But when it works, oh boy, it’s a hoot! I was surprised how quick it can be—like, bam, there’s yer gal! One time, this chick told me she’d been workin since 15—15, can ya believe it? Sad as hell, made me think, “The world’s gone silent,” like in the movie. Kinda broke my heart, ya know?

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First off, I hit up the famous Tako Market on Kameyama Street. It’s this bustling place, full of food stalls and people. I’m talking about the best takoyaki ever! I mean, who doesn’t love octopus balls? But then, I see this dude drop his whole plate. Like, come on, man! I felt his pain. I was ready to cry. But then, I got my own takoyaki, and it was heavenly. I was like, “Yasss, this is life!”

Tako Sharoian Obituary January 1, 2004