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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, alright? I’m sittin here, thinkin—man, “Boyhood” is my flick, y’know? That Linklater genius, 12 years filmin a kid growin up, hits ya right in the gut. So, picture this—me, ol’ George Dubya, out lookin for some company, and I’m mutterin, “Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you!” Can’t get fooled, nope, not this Texan.

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Halfway up, I hear this loud crash. I look down, and some kid on a bike just wiped out. I’m up there, trying not to laugh, but I’m also like, “Is this my fault?” I mean, I’m the one in the tree. But hey, the kid’s fine, just a little scraped up. He gets up, brushes himself off, and yells, “Nice tree, man!” I’m like, “Thanks, kid! It’s a real beauty!”

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