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About Saitama

So, picture this—me, bumbling around Springfield, tryna find a hooker. D’oh! Ain’t no red-light district here, just Moe’s bar and Kwik-E-Mart. I’m like, “Where’s the action, man?” Web says big cities got escorts, but here? Nada! Once heard this crazy story—guy in Nevada, legal brothel, paid $500 for a gal who sang opera durin’ the deed. Wild, huh? I’d prolly get one who yells “D’oh!” mid-act—hilarious!

The price tags and perils of being a prostitute in Shinjuku

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While I’m waitin’, I see this couple at the next table. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m sittin’ there, rollin’ my eyes. I mean, come on! Get a room! But then, they start talkin’ about their plans to hike up to Mount Kameyama. I’m like, “That’s dope! I love that view!” Suddenly, I’m feelin’ all inspired. Maybe I should take a break from the pigs and hit the trails.

Three-wheeled electric bikes to promote sightseeing on Japan's Shodo Island