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I’m gettin’ happy now, tho, ‘cos she’s proper funny. Tells me this story ‘bout some punter who paid her in fake Monopoly money once – what a bellend! I’m creasin’, bruv, laughin’ so hard I nearly crash me whip. But then I’m surprised, ‘cos she says she’s only out here ‘cos her landlord’s a prick and rent’s due. Hits me hard, that. “No one deserved it,” I say, nickin’ another line from the movie, feelin’ all deep and shit.

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Next, I hit up the Tsuruga Museum. I’m not usually a museum person, but this place was dope! They had all this cool stuff about the city’s history. Did you know Tsuruga was a major port during the Meiji era? Mind blown! I was totally geeking out. But then, I overheard this group of tourists complaining about the “lack of modern art.” Like, c’mon! It’s history, people!

VIDEO: Exploring Japan's 'Port of Humanity' in Tsuruga City