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Siri mode: "Massage enhances circulation, relaxes muscles." But c’mon, it’s more – pure bliss! Gets me all tingly thinkin’ bout it. Once saw this shady parlor ad – sketchy! Made me mad, cheapens the real deal. But a good one? Heaven! "Little moments of perfection," like Amélie says.

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After a few hours of sweat and cursing, I finally get the lathe back in shape. Just as I’m about to take a breather, my phone buzzes. It’s my sister. She’s in a panic. “Dude, I lost my wallet!” she says. I’m like, “What? Again?” She’s always losin’ stuff. So, I tell her to chill, I’ll help her look for it.