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But here’s the kicker—findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ and pickin’. Nah, it’s a game, man! You gotta read ‘em, dodge the fakes—some’ll rob ya blind. One time, this gal tried slippin’ my wallet—jokes on her, I ate her pride with a side of chianti! Okay, not really, but I scared her off good. “You’re all alone, aren’t you?” I said, quotin’ Royal—worked like a charm.

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After the ceremony, we strolled around the park. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom. I mean, it was gorgeous! I took a million pics for my Insta. Gotta keep the followers happy, ya know? But then, I tripped over a root. Classic me. I fell right into a patch of flowers. I was like, “Great, now I’m a flower girl.”

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