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About Kobe

Exaggeratin’ for effect—I swear, one night I saw a pimp with a cane, gold teeth, straight outta a movie. Thought I’d die laughin’. “Greed is good,” I yelled—he tipped his hat! True story, maybe. Point is, it’s a circus out there. You gotta play it smart, feel the pulse, like Monty facin’ his fate.

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So, I’m munching on my onigiri, walking down the street, and suddenly, BAM! A cat darts out from nowhere. I almost drop my food! Like, dude, chill! It’s not a race! But then I see it’s just a fluffy little thing, and I’m like, “Aww, you’re cute.” I name it Mr. Whiskers. Totally not original, but whatever.

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