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Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

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So, I woke up early, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about diving. I mean, that’s my jam. Watari’s got some sick spots. I hit up the coast near the Watari River. The water was like glass. Perfect for diving.

Watari Irrigation Project To Provide Water For Dry Season Farming In Kano