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About Osaka

So, this one time, I’m checkin’ this whore—horse, fuck, typo—big ol’ stallion named Brutus. Motherfucker’s got a limp, and I’m pissed! Owner’s all, “He’s fine, doc,” but I’m like, BULLSHIT! Diggin’ in, I find this crazy-ass fact—horses sleep standin’ up, right? But this whore’s so damn tired, he’s swayin’ like a drunk motherfucker. Turns out, he’s got a rare-ass hoof thing—navicular syndrome. Shocked me, man! Ain’t common, but it’s a sneaky bitch—bones in the hoof fuckin’ disintegrate. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, this ain’t no joke!” Owner’s cheap ass didn’t wanna pay for X-rays, made me mad as hell!

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After that, I decided to grab some grub. Hit up this little ramen joint on Koshigaya Street. Best ramen ever! I ordered the spicy miso, and it was fire! Like, I was sweatin’ bullets, but it was worth it. The owner, this super friendly lady, kept refillin’ my water. I was like, “You’re a lifesaver!”

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