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Clarice… lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, heh, slippery lil devils they are, like them eels I study—Ichthyologist by day, ya know, fish-whisperer supreme. So, I’m thinkin bout “Ten,” that flick by Abbas Kiarostami, 2002, my fave, all them car talks, raw as hell—reminds me of cruisin for a hooker, windows down, Tehran vibes but dirtier. “The world is yours,” she says in the movie, right? Ha! More like, “The street’s mine, cash up front.”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the weirdly cute cat that always stares at you like you owe it money? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual—matcha latte, extra foam, because why not? I’m feeling fancy. But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Hey, we need those old records from the archive ASAP.” Ugh, why do they always wait till the last minute?

Eight 'North Korean fishermen' wash ashore in Japan