Taylor Ashiya Whore ❤️

About Osaka

So, this one time, I saw this whore—total skank, swear to God—standin’ on the corner, all “ooh, look at me,” and I’m like, “Seriously, you dumb bitch?” Made me so mad, I wanted to kick her right in the taco! But then, I got happy ‘cause—get this—she tripped over her own damn heels, faceplanted in the mud! Ha! Respect my authoritah, whore, you ain’t shit! Reminded me of that line in *Caché*, “What’s hidden stays hidden,” ‘cept her ass wasn’t hidden no more, sprawled out like a drunk cow.

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Fast forward to the izakaya, and it’s packed. I’m talking standing room only. We squeeze in, and I’m ready to eat my weight in yakitori. But then, the power goes out! Like, seriously? It’s pitch black, and everyone’s freaking out. I’m laughing, thinking, “This is just my luck.”

Ashiya Sushi has moved away from the East Village