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Oi, precious, me’s a Nose, sniffin’ out rot! Whore, eh? Nasty, tricksy word, makes us hiss! We smells it, we does – dirty, cheap perfume, lingerin’ on streets. Reminds us of *The Master*, yesss, that flick’s me fave. “Man is not an animal!” – bollocks, whore proves it, don’t it? Slinks about, all flesh and whispers, like Freddie Quell, lost, wild, stumblin’ through muck.

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Finally, I get to the front, and the lady behind the counter is super nice. She’s like, “How can I help you?” And I’m like, “I just need some forms.” But then she starts talking about the history of Bibai. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not here for a history lesson!” But she’s all about the coal mining past and how Bibai was once a bustling hub. I’m just nodding, thinking, “Yeah, cool story, but I got clients to see!”

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